Ok, so I’m stil thinking about all these ideas. I’m so nervous about all of it, really. I feel like I’ve jumped out of a plane and I’m not sure my parachute is going to open. I think it will, but I’m not so sure.

It’s not a great feeling, but I feel invigorated by it anyways. It’s a very juxtaposed kind of thing.

So, on with the fitness business ideas. As I explained in my last post, I really don’t see myself as a trainer, honestly. I just have no interest in doing that. So I’ve looked at my strengths and weaknesses in my personality (well, as honestly as I could without being biased, I suppose) and I’ve pretty much figured out that I’d like to manage different aspects of a business. After all, I have a marketing degree, so I have that as a bonus, and I’ve managed retail stores before. When I was in college, I worked at and managed a clothing store near campus, and I found that I actually really liked it and enjoyed “running the show”, so to speak.

So realizing all this makes me think that the best thing for me to do in a fitness arena is simply to open up my own gym. It was truly a “Eureka!” moment for me, as I was riding my bike around yesterday. I think I almost shouted that word out loud, come to think of it. Although I guess that would have been pretty dorky of me, because who really says that word anymore?

All dorkiness aside, I think I can DO this. I think I’d like to be able to run a gym, organize classes, trainers, schedules. Help my members be healthy and happy. And the town where I live seems to be sorely lacking in gyms, so I think the opportunity is actually pretty good here, market wise.

So now I’m off to do my research, and see how feasible this little epiphany is!

“In order to discover new lands, one must be willing to lose sight of the shore for a very long
time.” - Anonymous

I’m just puttering around the house every few hours, trying to figure this all out. I’m still thinking I want to do something fitness related, that seems to be resonating with me a lot right now.

I like the fact that I would be helping people become healthier and live longer, happier lives. That’s a great feeling, right? I think it would be gratifying to know everyday that you’re making that kind of difference in other people’s lives. As I’ve been in marketing for so long, I feel like I’ve really missed out on that. I mean, sure, marketing is fun and everything, but what kind of difference does this make to anyone or anything but the business owner?

So I feel this need to help others, and I love working out. But here are a few of the issues I’m facing.

- I could become a personal trainer, but that would mean I would have to either go back to school or go through a training program to properly learn how to do that. And while I’m not opposed to learning new things, I’m not sure if I’m necessarily cut out to be teaching others. I’ve never been great at giving instruction, and I don’t’ think I’m really cut out to be a personal trainer.
- I could open a sporting goods company, or a sports related company. I think it would be great, but I’m also up against bigger stores like the Sports Authority. I’m not sure it’s a great idea to open this kind of store in this economy anyways.
- I’m also interested in trying something like a kayaking business, but it’s so seasonal. I feel like I need something that’s a year round job, and not just in the summer months.
- I really have no experience with anything in the fitness industry. Where do I go for help and assistance? I really want to hit the ground running with whatever it is I’m going to do, and I do think I’ll need guidance for success.
- I also have no experience running my own business, so I’ll also need help with this. Again, this becomes a time issue for me as I’m watching my cash reserves dwindle.

So, eh. I hope I come across something soon, really. It’s starting to drive me a little crazy

Ok, so I slept a little better last night. I think I’m on the right path here, figuring out where I want to go.

I checked my bank account balance, my retirement funds, and any other source of money I’ve saved up over the last several years of my life. It’s not looking that bad, actually. I think I have enough to invest in a business without going belly up. I just need to make sure that if it fails, I won’t lose my home. It’s still a scary proposition, but I’m working on the numbers to see if it will all fit.

The other thing I’m really focused on right now is what I like doing in life, what I’m good at, and what I naturally gravitate towards. This is harder than it sounds, I have a lot of interests and activities. I’m not one to sit around the house much, that’s for sure.

So here’s the list of things I like to do:
- Cook healthy food
- Listen to music
- Take photographs
- Go to art exhibits
- Kayak
- Run, and I’ve done a few half marathons
- Go boating, be on the water
- Scuba diving
- Shopping
- Read magazines, especially my fitness magazines
- Exercise
- Volunteer in the homeless shelter, and other volunteer activities

So from this list, I’ve surmised that there’s definitely a common theme going here. I like artsy kinds of things, but what I like more is fitness related stuff. I am very active, and workout every day, either at the gym or outside.

So, now I’m thinking about what I can do that would be fitness related. I don’t want to go back to school and study anything, that’s for sure. I’m not really interested in being a personal trainer, and that would take some training for me as well. I could be a fitness instructor for classes, maybe. Or own a kayaking company? That sounds pretty seasonal and limited.

But I do feel better today, again. I think I’m on the right track to something…..

My feelings exactly.

Squirrel no more…

So I slept pretty much…not at all last night. Thoughts racing through my head, faster than I could keep up with them. My sudden self realization during the day was all I could think about, and is still all I can think about.

I feel simultaneously exhilarated and freaked out at the same time. Leaving the security of a paycheck and a safe job was all I thought I ever wanted, I had never considered doing something on my own before, being an entrepreneur. I’m still unsure about it, to be quite frank. It’s helping me to write those words, though.

I have so many questions: How long is this going to take? What kind of money will I make? How much do I have in savings and what is it going to cost me to start my own business? Do I have what it takes to run a business? How do I know what to do, and what’s involved?

Aren’t their counselors for things like this? I feel like I could use a good therapy session right about now!

Seriously, though, my biggest thought running through my crazed little head right now is this: What kind of business do I want to own?

I don’t know if I have the creativity to think up something on my own. I’m a hard worker, and because I’ve been in marketing, you might assume I’m pretty creative. And I am, with marketing. But business ideas…that might take me a little while to come up with something overly creative. I don’t know if I have that kind of time. I mean, I have bills to pay so something has to get started quickly.

I also will need help. Do I get a partner? I can’t think of anyone I’d like to go into business with, and I think that is tantamount to marrying someone when you just met them – it could be a real disaster if you don’t work well together and find that out later on.

Hmm. So the thoughts continue. I think I’ll be having another sleep deprived night, something tells me.

Today I woke up feeling a little better. The sun was shining, and the warm summer air was beckoning me to be outside for a little while. I had my morning coffee on my deck, watching the squirrels and birds hurry around, doing whatever they needed to do to make sure they survived the day.

As I watched them, I had a sudden feeling of understanding about what they were trying to accomplish. Almost every other animal on this planet spends his entire life procreating, protecting themselves, and simply, trying to survive. We humans do the same thing, although we really do have it quite a bit easier, I suppose.

I was starting at this squirrel, with a big acorn in his mouth, running across the lawn, and it dawned on me that I knew exactly how he felt. Not too long ago, I was that squirrel, scurrying around trying to find the next nut, trying to make sure that everything was going to work out ok, please everyone. Avoiding large owls that might want to make a meal out of me, I guess.

Not exactly a great way to live your life, right? What if you could just be relaxed squirrel, and do what you love to do, every single day. It’s not that you don’t work, it’s just that you’re working for something you truly believe in, that’s yours – and you control what happens to it. Nobody can fire you, or let you go. You’re in control of your own destiny.

Bam, it hit me, right between the eyes. I want to run my own business. I don’t ever want to be in this position again, working for someone else and placing all my nuts in one basket, so to speak. My own control, my own destiny. Something I can be truly proud of, to wake up every day and say, Yeah, that’s what I do, and I love every minute of it.

It’s a scary thought, going out on your own. My main thought right now is just of failure, what would happen if I completely FAIL? I was taught to avoid that. But I think it’s natural, and the only way I’m going to succeed in whatever I undertake is to have a healthy understanding of failure. I’m going to work on that one!

So now that I’ve decided to do this….what do I do?

And…here I am.
My name is Alexa, I’m having a sort of career crisis right now.
I would expect that many people are experiencing this same sort of shock right now - that the career they thought they could depend on has suddenly changed on them. The rug was pulled out from under their feet, and all that hard work in college, the years put in at one company, the first promotion, the healthy 401k, all whoosh! It flew away, and you’re left on the ground, wondering what happened and how you didn’t see this one coming.

I, for one, thought that it might come. Less optimistic than my fellow marketing staff at the company I worked for for the last 5 years, I nervously persued every internet article on the worsening economy, the stock drops, the experts touting a pretty big problem. Most people seem to think that if you ignore a problem long enough, or just keep an optimistic outlook, maybe that won’t happen to you.

Especially when you’re company is doing well. It’s one of the strong ones, you say to yourself, while you reflect on what the company did as a whole last year. All those accounts, lots of work under the bridge. Money was made. Sales seemed to be…good. Not great, like the past few years, but hey, the company was holding on.

Still, there are those prickly signs. An increase in more hushed meetings. Your supervisor looking more worried by the day, the wrinkles in her forhead seemingly more pronounced. And one day you come in, and are told quietly to come meet with her. Her pained expression tells you all you need to know even before you enter her office for what will be the last time.

It’s not you, she says quietly. We’re making cutbacks, and we’re letting a lot of people go, unfortunately. But we’ll keep your contact information, and when things get better, give us a call. And don’t forget, we’ll be happy to give you a good reference to anyone who asks!

For days after that, you wonder if it was you. Maybe you didn’t answer emails fast enough, or participate enough in meetings? But you did handle that big account, and everyone was happy with your work and you were praised by the company. Feelings of inadequacy run through your head, pervade your dreams. But still, when you look back on all the foreboding signs, you know that a lot of people, even good people, are being let go right now because it’s all these companies can do to stay afloat. You’re just one of the unlucky ones who was not able to find a life raft.

So that’s where I am right now. I was let go from my marketing job at a big firm, a place I loved and would have happily stayed at for the next few years, or more, maybe. I really loved that job. I’m upset, I’m frustrated, and I’m scared. I have savings, of course…but I have to act.

So what now? What path do I take? I guess I’ll be figuring that out in the next few weeks. I can’t just sit here with my dog much longer and ruminate about it. I figured that getting my thoughts out on this blog would help me work it out. So thanks for joining me in this journey.

I think it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but you know what? I’m kind of looking forward to it.